More About Becoming a Mother’s Helper

by Pat

Mother's Helper by Diego Rivera

More About Becoming a Mother’s Helper

A reader was unhappy about another article about being a mother’s helper as a way to start doing child care and babysitting for those kids who might not yet be old enough to care for children all alone. In case you did not see the article, it did a good job of describing what duties a mother’s helper might have.

This was the comment and complaint: “This article did not help. Yes, but what are some tips that we should use when we are working. What should you do when the child starts crying? Huh, please do this article over again.”

Remember that a mother's helper would do these things while one or both parents are at home with the children just to be that extra pair of hands moms should be born with! You might help the children bathe, eat, clean their room, study and do homework, play in the yard, or anything else to keep them busy and out of a parent’s hair for a bit.

You might be asked to help with housework so that the parent can spend time with the children instead, or be asked to go along on a shopping trip or outing to help wrangle a child herd. As the other article mentioned, the parents will want an interview unless they already know you well, and you and they and your parents should be clear on what is expected of you. You may need references from others who have hired you.

Things that make you seem serious and more reliable would be taking a first aid and CPR class and a babysitting course. These would actually help answer some of the comment’s objections. A babysitting and childcare class gives you ways to keep children content and ways to deal with problems like crying. Remember, too, that a parent is always present for a mother’s helper if you can’t deal with crying or some other problem that comes up.

If you are thinking about doing any kind of childcare, you also need to understand that children are going to cry no matter what a good job you do. For very small children, toddlers and babies, they don’t have enough language to express all of their needs and problems and crying is how they let people know that something is really bothering them.

The first thing to do when a child is crying is to ask them what is wrong if they are old enough to answer, and then to deal with what they tell you. Let them know you understand that they are upset. Things like “Don’t cry” and “Stop that, you’re OK” do not help and may make things worse. The child feels something bad whether you think they should be or not. Acknowledge the situation by saying something like “Something must really be bothering you” and showing you are willing to listen. Just don’t tell a child how they “should” feel, which applies to adults, too.

If the crying is way out of proportion to what’s really going on, try diverting their attention to something else. Avoid bribes, though. “”I’ll give you a brownie if you stop crying right now” might stop the crying for now, but the next time the kid wants a treat, they know how to get it! When the child is too small or too upset to tell you what is wrong, you need to play detective and see if you can find the cause. Look for obvious things like a “boo-boo” or no nap or being wet or hungry and fix the problem. Never be afraid to ask the mom or dad if you can’t tell what is wrong and need some help.

I would suggest taking that babysitting course before even starting if you have no experience at all and would have no idea what to do. Getting the certificate impresses potential employers and you will learn the real tools you need to work with kids. If you can’t find a class or just can’t afford one, ask to “shadow” someone with experience, such as another mother’s helper, a babysitter or a parent, and watch what they do carefully. The library is full of books about babysitting and childcare, too.

You might even arrange to do a little internship without pay for a potential customer while you learn the ropes with their children, and then when you have the skills, begin collecting for your time. A little apprenticeship like this also helps you decide whether you are really cut out for doing this kind of work. Not everyone is, because children a lot of work and even more patience.

Another possibility for real beginners is to team up with a friend and take only half the usual pay each. You can support each other and maybe feel less nervous, but be sure you can really work together and not just fall into chatting with each other.

You might even see about helping with a church nursery during services and events for experience. They can almost always use extra volunteers to help out and would be a great reference. There is also always an adult supervising and training you.

Hopefully, this answers some of the questions the other article may have raised. It’s good that someone asked, since a good mother’s helper would always ask when they don’t understand how to do something!

You might be interested in more information on these websites:

childcare.about.com
momsrefuge.com
nanny.lifetips.com